Dixon Wakes From Nightmare Where He Was DJ Mag’s Number 1 DJ

Dixon Wakes From Nightmare Where He Was DJ Mag’s Number 1 DJ

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Resident Advisor’s current number 1 DJ, Dixon, has reportedly woken up from a nightmare where he was DJ Mag’s number 1 DJ instead.

Dixon, real name Steffan Berkhahn, is rumoured to be “haunted” by fears that he will someday make the DJ Mag Top 100 DJs list and claims that he’d “rather chop off his cock” than feature on the list.

“Every night for the last couple of weeks Steffan has been having terrible nightmares about being number 1 on the DJ Mag poll,” explained agent Anika Schmidt. “It always happens to him at this time of year, usually a bit of valium sorts him out but this year it seems to have gotten worse.”

“He’s been waking up with his hands in the air, while shouting things like ‘c’mon people let me hear you scream’ or ‘hello TomorrowLand’ all things a regular DJ Mag Top 100 DJ would say and do,” she added. “He was even jumping on the spot in his sleep last week. I think he might need to see a sleep therapist.”

“We’re hoping that once all of the hype around the unveiling of the new number 1 dies down his sleeping pattern will go back to normal,” continued Schmidt, “but it’s been nearly a week now and, if anything, it’s getting worse. He had to sleep in Âme’s bed last night because the thought of going to sleep was just too scary for him to be on his own.”

According to sleep expert Ivana Gudnight, Dixon may be suffering from a condition known as Pre-traumatic Stress Disorder.

“Pre-traumatic Stress Disorder is a very unusual condition,” claimed Ms. Gudnight. “Normally we only find it in time travelers, Marty McFly had it, and clairvoyants or any other people who can see into the future but Dixon is none of the above. Hopefully it’s just a precautionary factor happening in his brain which should be enough to scare him out of ever turning to the dark side and selling out to EDM.”

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